![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:19 • Filed to: RoastMyCar, haterade, corvette, reddit, cheeky, humblebrag | ![]() | ![]() |
Here are some choice roasts:
It took you 38 years to feel outdated - prompting you to buy a machine that is, already outdated. It’s all downhill from here.
Looks like you bought it pre-owned at a Caddy dealer; enjoy your used Chevy, it’ll be worth $20k in 5 years.
When you’re 38 and still want to impress the chick that curved you in high school
So, when is your penis enlargement surgery scheduled for?
/r/RoastMyCar is always fun to play around in. There are a lot of Corvette haters, which is fine
; but the haterade spreads everywhere in that sub.
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:24 |
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If Reddit hates Cor vettes, Corvettes are good.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:25 |
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truf
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:25 |
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The roast that still hurts the most about my car was when it was brand new
“God damn, it’s almost as gaudy as a fucking Mustang, Why does a V6 need quad exhausts?”
I
t was my uncle, he used to have a V6 Passat CC.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:27 |
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To be fair, who doesn’t want a bigger penis? It’s like getting a boob job for women. If anyone tells you they wouldn’t schedule the surgery if they had the money are lying to themselves or in porn.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:29 |
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My, um, friend tells me that the pills don’t work btw
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:30 |
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I like Passats but quad exhausts?
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:32 |
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My car has quad exhausts, he was making fun of me. If I recall correctly the V6 CC had two exhaust pipes coming out of the muffler.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:34 |
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Harsh take esp from your uncle.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:35 |
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“WOW you have a trailer and a large SUV because you can’t trust your car to not break in a multitude of ways every trip? You’re hella stupid.” - my wife to a Morgan owner she lives with.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:37 |
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It takes 15 years for a Z06 to drop below $20k, so you have that going for you.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:40 |
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I almost commented on that post earlier. I didn't have anything that wasn't already said
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:43 |
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Yah most of the bases have been covered
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:45 |
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She wants that life insurance payout.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:45 |
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W ait... that would mean you!
.... B ut Morgan tho.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:46 |
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Haha I want to keep it until it’s worth only 5k
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:47 |
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It doesn’t necessarily mean him. His wife might live with her boyfriend.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:48 |
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At first I was like “does she have a poly roomie on the side” but you’re supposed to hear hooves and think horses, not zebras
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:49 |
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Damn. Now THAT'S a roast.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:50 |
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Unless you crash it, I don't forsee it ever getting that cheap.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:51 |
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That may happen someday. But hopefully not. Would be lovely to keep it for a decade and sell it for 30k still. Or have one of the last 30 left in the year 2050
![]() 06/14/2019 at 12:58 |
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You can’t trust zebras. Are they white with black stripes or black with white stripes? Pick a side!
![]() 06/14/2019 at 13:05 |
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Just posted Jan Van. Bring it on.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 13:15 |
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This doesn’t make sense, Evoras are unhateable
![]() 06/14/2019 at 13:28 |
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Well their bellies are contiguously white, so I figured they were white with black stripes.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 13:29 |
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You’re probably right; I haven’t seen an Evora on there yet although I don’t check there daily. I certainly like them a lot; I like all midRear engine cars.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 13:38 |
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Found the link, upvoted, saved, and busy thinking up a retort. GL
![]() 06/14/2019 at 13:46 |
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Funny thing is, I put my age in the title to try and avoid the old man jokes, and they came anyway :D
![]() 06/14/2019 at 14:03 |
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Her ex boyfriend, who is technically still me.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 14:10 |
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Fuuuuck that was a rabbit hole...
![]() 06/14/2019 at 14:26 |
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I’m hoping for something more creative than the standard “free candy” and “rape van”.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 14:26 |
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One guy really hated that I don’t have the Z07 package enough that he posted it THREE TIMES.
I’m sure it’s an app glitch.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 14:27 |
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Lol I apologize for that. I was messing around with implications of growing a pot farm, but I couldn’t make it work.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 14:31 |
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All good, yours at least had some thought into it.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 14:33 |
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I got nothing for yours...something something overheating track car.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 14:43 |
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I just go in and upvote the things, I am not a fussy man
![]() 06/14/2019 at 15:19 |
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My car gets roasted on the regular in the CVN discord, lol.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 15:30 |
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Lol what’s the CVN discord?
![]() 06/14/2019 at 15:49 |
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CrownVic.net's discord.
![]() 06/14/2019 at 16:08 |
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I must be old. TIL there is a discord for almost everything
![]() 06/14/2019 at 16:10 |
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I was the one who suggested it, moving them away from IRC.